WRNL Has Your Ticket to the Cy-Hawk Game!

Looking to go to the rivalry game in Iowa City this year? Well, we here at WRNL always have your best interests in mind and have just the ticket you’ve been looking for. And if you play your cards right, it sounds like you might even get a handie out of the deal!

Casual encounters are always pretty awkward, but this one looks promising. I mean the main requirements are, “Manners, does not wear knickers or work boots to the game, does not smoke tobacco or chew, and sex is not your middle name”. And although that rules out about 98% of the Hawkeye fanbase, we’re sure that many of our viewers can exceed these already low standards. And lets be honest, this reeks of desperation. This is one of the few women out there who would actually be thankful for the 1 ½ minutes of mediocre lovin’ that any WRNL reader is willing to provide her with. Just be prepared – she’s tall:


Now “sex” is not my middle name, but I feel naked without my knickers, so I’m unfortunately gonna have to let this one pass. But for all of you lonely gents out there that spend your nights watching scrambled Cinemax and combing Facebook for sideboob pics, this one’s for you. So have at it. I’ve heard they have tubs of popcorn at kinnick, so when one of you lands this amazon I recommend going with a little spontaneity! Good luck and godspeed WRNL readers, and if you end up getting married, we would like to be invited to the bachelor party. Dangerous Curves anyone?

Here’s your ticket to the game: Des Moines Craigslist

8 Responses to WRNL Has Your Ticket to the Cy-Hawk Game!

  1. st8te says:

    The response I received, “It clearly says only serious responses, ass”.

    So I guess I was moving a little to fast with asking about the scented oils and rub me downs?

  2. mileyCYrus says:

    I wonder how successful this date will end up. Even eharmony has less requirements and obviously more serious relationships/unsolved murders.

  3. I am a Cyentist says:

    Alright, I think everyone is overlooking the craziest part of this ad:

    “Does not have a Herky beak.”

    What the hell does that mean? Is she referring to his nose? Has she dated actual birds in the past? What kind of sick ornithological sex games have you stumbled on to here?

  4. geronimusclone says:

    You know Ed Podolak is all over this bitch.

  5. DRCHIRO says:

    Great, as always.

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