Big 12 Lusts For Notre Dame/Arkansas

have you seen this baby?

 This is a very important baby.   

Recent speculation has the Big 12 (10) looking to make a love connection between itself and two powerful programs.  The Universities of Notre Dame and Arkansas have both been mentioned as possible additions to bring the Big 12 back to 12.   

Only 2 possible reasons exist for Notre Dame to join the Big 12:   

1) The Big 12 has unequal revenue sharing and a Notre Dame would be subject to fellatio from the rest of the conference of similar quality to what Texas is receiving.  Cupping of the balls would be mandated.   

2) Notre Dame realizes, like the rest of the country, that the Big 10 is a congregation of douchebag programs looking to bully the rest of the college landscape into submission.  This move would be to spite them.  

Arkansas on the other hand has numerous possible reasons for looking to the West (not that far, Pac-10).:  

1) Prior to the formation of the Big 12, Arkansas had long-standing rivalries with several Texas schools primarily the University of Texas and Texas A&M.   They’ve been wanting to hug it out for a long time.  

2) Notre Dame – they’re going to bring big bucks to the table.  With the pooling of burnt orange and forest green the conference will be in play for big dollars.

3) Jerry Jones.  He owns the Cowboys and his sperm provides life to nearly 350,000 new Texans each year.  He’s also an Arkansas alum and wipes his ass with $100 bills. Jerry wants a Big 12 Championship game held at his stadium, and being from Texas, he has trouble with big words like “delayed gratification”. 

4) Proximity – They’re a natural fit for the Big 12 and would be much less likely to spend probation stints cleaning off oil soaked pelicans.   

The Big 12 would love to fill out its roster with schools like these.  Arkansas and A&M could have the hot and steamy reunion they’ve been hoping for. Texas and Notre Dame could have the big dick sword fight they’ve always wanted. Most reasonable people have disregarded this as mere wishful-thinking – but we at WRNL are not confined by silly things like “facts” or “reason” or “words over three syllables”.  

Instead, we decided to make a baby:  An Notre Dame/Arkansas baby.  The theoretical bundle of green and crimson joy was brought to life using a random website found through a complicated process called a “Google search”.  Generate your own little future freak of nature here

WRNL analyzed hundreds of Notre Dame and Arkansas alums to come up with these two “representative parents” to make our love connection.  The software did the rest and we were left with the surprisingly non-demented toddler from the beginning of the story.  Who knew?      

 

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3 Responses to Big 12 Lusts For Notre Dame/Arkansas

  1. I am a Cyentist says:

    I’m not a Notre Dame fan by any stretch of the imagination, but I think my 1/4 Irish heritage makes me more than qualified to provide the seed for that fine Arkansas lass on the right.

  2. Al says:

    I can’t believe those retards from Missouri took this seriously.

    • Mike says:

      First of all, the phrase “retards from Missouri” is repetitive. Second, why are you surprised? Again, they’re from Missouri. They’re retarded.

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