Sacre Bleu! France Surrenders Again!

It's almost like it's natural for French players to run with a white flag...

Well, it’s final, France decides to shit the bed and loses 2-1 to a country that was ranked 83rd in the World… these guys make Ohio State’s performances in National Championship games look valiant. This comes on the heels of players refusing to train 2 days before this match, which was a must win for them to have any chance of moving on past the group stages.

The revolt was caused by star striker Nicolas Anelka being kicked off the team by coach Raymond Domenech, due to Anelka’s poor attitude and effort in their previous game. The players complained because French coach Raymond Domenech hired the fat/insane crack team of Mark Mangino and Mike Leach to handle player relations, which involved baguettes, wine, and cigarettes taken away from them. WRNL fave Franck Ribery was quoted as saying “without le wine, how is I supposed to bang underage hookers or look at moi in ze mirror without puking?”

Former French star turned benchwarmer Thierry Henry was especially distraught about the lack of baguettes: “That fat fuck Mangino (pardonez my French) ate all the baguettes and then he tells us it’s for our own good? What do you think I do on the bench? All I do is dream about dicking over the Irish on handballs and feeding baguette crumbs to poor children in the stadium.” Leach was especially incensed at Anelka’s lackadaisical effort, referring to him as the “crepe-eating version of Adam James.” One can only assume Anelka was the subject of many metal shed incarcerations.

Speaking through their translator, retired NBA player Allen Iverson, the rest of the French players made a statement about their decision to skip training:

Advertisements

One Response to Sacre Bleu! France Surrenders Again!

  1. Heather says:

    All mormons are terrible at soccer.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: