Mike Vick: Keeping It Real

snitches get stitches and snatches get itches

Philadelphia Eagles back up quarterback and former Pro Bowler Mike Vick celebrated his 30th birthday with a party at a Virginia Beach club last Thursday night. The guest list at Vick’s party included Deangelo Hall, Lashawn Merritt, Allen Iverson, Pusha-T, and a seemingly endless amount of Beyonce back up dancers. Preliminary reports from those in attendance stated that the party was “hoppin” and that it was “off the chain, ain’t no lie”. Well, as I have no idea what either of those two phrases mean, I’ll just assume they are implying that guests at the party got shit canned and Ron Mexico made it rain genital itch on every chick there. Too bad it couldn’t all end with only a few hundred penicillin shots and a carton of Vagisil…

Sources say that around closing time, some of those in attendance at Vick’s birthday bash decided to partake in the traditional childhood party game “pin the tail on the donkey”. However in this version of the game the donkey happened to be some chump who was running his mouth, and the tail they were pinning was a hollow point .40 Smith & Wesson. Following the incident, a police spokesman said that the victim and witnesses were being “uncooperative”. Well, there’s a revelation. Who’d have thought a bunch of drunken rappers, athletes, and their collective entourages would be “uncooperative” with the police? Days after the incident, reports have begun to surface about both Mike and his brother Marcus’ involvement with the shooting. NOOOOOOO WAYYYYYY???

pin the tail on that MUTHA FUCKA!

Mike’s attorney stated that “Michael Vick was not involved or present when a shooting took place outside a nightclub where he had celebrated his birthday… in fact he was long gone before the incident occurred”. Yea, and Orenthal’s glove didn’t fit either… “You must acquit!” Vick is currently still on federal probation stemming from the now infamous dog fighting operation he funded that landed him in jail and nearly ended his NFL career in 2007. Something tells me that “not rolling with dudes packing heat” has to be listed in the terms of his supervised release somewhere.

Stay “Keepin It Real” Mike, at least we don’t have to listen to the imminent speculation over whether Brett Favre is coming back again or retiring for the next few days.


One Response to Mike Vick: Keeping It Real

  1. Chris Ross says:

    Very well written post and a nice blog you got going here! It is hard for me to comprehend why these same athletes are always putting themselves in a position to get in trouble. I’m not sure if it’s a nature or nurture type thing but guys like Vince Young, Pacman, Vick, the list goes on and on. I don’t know what pro leagues can do to help them. Also, you think you could take a quick look at my most recent post because I really want to hear your opinion on my thoughts. http://chrisross91.wordpress.com/2010/06/30/when-will-they-ever-learn/

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