All-Time Iowa State “Notorious” Team

Yesterday, our favorite Cyclone related web site that reports real news published an article about the Top 5 All-Time Cyclone Men’s Basketball players.  We found the list to be rather… timid… so we came up with our own.  These men all represent the ideals we uphold here at WRNL and would be a great fit for any beer chugging, hash smoking, amateur posturing rec league in the country.

Without further adieu, we give you the All-Time Iowa State “Notorious” Team:

PG: Tim Barnes – This man loved his hash. He loved his hash so much he only played one year for the Cyclones. Fortunately he is probably still around to supply our current athletes with all their “needs”.

No doubt chasing down some BK...

SG: John Neal – Made an entire career out of two shots. If I did that I would have a full time career as a Chippendale dancer.

SF: Sam Mack – You robbed a Burger King through a drive thru window. How can you not make this list?

PF: Kenny Pratt – It takes a special kind of man to play with the desire that Pratt did. It takes an even more special kind of man to try and fight two cops while handcuffed.

C: Andrew Skoglund – If you ever wanted to see what Andre the Giant looked like playing basketball… with less mass, less skill, and less French… look no further.

Coming off the Bench…

Clayton Vette – So obsessed with getting closer to home he transferred to Winona State, which is a whopping 35 miles farther away from Waverly than Ames.

Looks like Spiro's headless body finally found a head!

Aaron Agnew – Unfortunately not related to Spiro T. Agnew, but if he was I am sure Iowa State would have had wiretaps all over Hilton.

On a side note, why the hell did this guy not play football?

Shawn Taggart – So much promise, so little real talent. Kind of like Shawn Bradley, but black.

Directing the Misfits…

We miss you Larry!

Head Coach: Larry Eustachy – Our Lord and inspiration for this site. Your drinking is legendary in Ames and so is that turtleneck.

Assistant Coach: Randy Brown – It’s a great thing you coach a men’s team. It makes those child pornography charges look less creepy.

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About knowdan
Defender of all things Clone.

5 Responses to All-Time Iowa State “Notorious” Team

  1. I am a Cyentist says:

    Any all-time Cyclone list without Clint Varley is woefully incomplete. The guy was an inspiration for slow white guys like me who dreamed of playing for Iowa State. Plus, I once saw him get rejected by the rim when he tried to dunk in pre-game warmups. Cyclones, they’re just like us!

  2. Ben says:

    Clint is the best! He’s had a fan club for years!

    The Clint Varley Fan Club

  3. haha says:

    i tell u what that tim barnes was a special talent when he was on the court u couldnt tell he smoked all the fans loved him and i bet when u met him u prolly asked fo a autograph and he happily ablidged if it wasnt for him that yr isu prolly would have been nothing jake sullivan sure couldnt run the team or mayb ricky morgan lol

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