LeBron / Wade / Bosh and more in Blockbuster signing!

And then my wolfpack grew to 5

WRNL Breaking News: Four NBA superstars are ready to sign on the bottom line with a surprising new player in the professional basketball scene.  Team Jacob has extended offers to LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh and Ray Allen. 

This easily makes Team Jacob instant favorites in the NBA Eastern Conference as well as the hearts and panties of 30 & 40 something women everywhere.

Bosh was reached for comment: “This is really a no-brainer for me.  The chance to play with LeBron and tickle-fight with Jacob is a dream come true.”

Wade put it more simply: “I don’t sparkle.” (Editors Note: but Hawkeye QB Ricky Stanzi does)

The magnitude of the dollars involved begs the question of how Team Jacob will remain under the NBA salary cap.  A league official close to the team has some idea:  “Well, they only plan on signing these 4 players – the other starter will be Jacob, and he will mainly just pose and wink at the crowd.  You know those movies pulled in a lot of coin, so they have a decent bankroll.  They also plan on always going ‘skins’ so uniform cost will be low.”

In true Joe Schad fashion, WRNL is officially retracting its previous prediction of LeBron to ISU.  If Steven A. Smith can admit he makes shit up, than so can we. (But the Team Jacob piece above is still legit,we promise)


2 Responses to LeBron / Wade / Bosh and more in Blockbuster signing!

  1. I am a Cyentist says:

    Holy shit, do you know that buzzfeed is ripping you guys off?


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