Réflexions D’un Fou – Part Un

Editor’s Note: This is a new series featuring our resident half-competent 27 year old senile person. When we aren’t making him do tricks for food, or shooting him with paintball guns for amusement, he spends his time chained up in the basement with his 13 inch tube TV, an Apple IIGS (he loves his Oregon Trail), and his thoughts. We present his chronicles to our readers here. Actual sports content will vary, but we promise the mental capacity of the writer will remain constant. The articles will appear unedited (to prove that the American education system is awesome) and continue for as long as LeCrazy is mentally capable, or sees a shiny red ball and chases it across a street, resulting in getting hit by a car.

Hello All,

My Name is LeCrazy. If your wondering if its French you would be wrong. I actually hate the French (but thats for another day), I just thought adding Le to my name would be sexy.

This is my virgin article to WRNL so bare with me. I live a totally unjust double standard of a life, and my main goal is to show you that through my writtings. My sole existence is based on the presumption of “Do what I say and not what I do”. Is it wrong or is it right? Frankly I couldn’t give two shits less, it is what it is. This will be like a personal diarreaha for me err I mean diary. You will find out what makes me tick and why everyone thinks Im an asshole.

I digress, I am pissed off this week about the weather, it is hotter than a fat girls moose knuckle in spandex, I mean can that thing really breathe in there? Other than that I am just generally disgruntled. My life sucks, I still live in an apartment in Ames, rely on my wife to dress me and wipe my ass(yes I am a grown man). But it could be worse I could live in Manhattan, Lawrence, Lubbock, or whatever the fucking town Baylor is in.

The Hills: Best watched on mute, unless your name is LeCrazy

I will blog or bitch about my feelings on the Big 12, the Big Ten, and my other random interests such as MTV’s The Hills, yes I watch the Hills. Trust me I will also make my feelings known on the Hawkeyes in due time. I will also give you my thoughts on the state of college atheletics when I get around to it. All in all, I will rant and rave about anything college sports related or rivalry related. And if I get bored you will just read about what I feel like bitching about.

Golf Guy……….

Ya if you read this rant and can see yourself doing anyone of these things, then you Golf Guy. My guess is you are also sexually repressed and need to take your anger out on a poor little ball with a stick that is big enough to make you jealous.

I need to preface my rant by saying I am a CERTIFIED expert in the field of Golf Guy since I make my living as a Golf Course worker. If your really interested in checking my credentials you can look me up in the IGCSA(Iowa Golf Course Superintendents Associtaion) for the slow minded people.

First off asshole(this will be golf guy from now on). You are not playing in the US Open. Hate to break it to you but I’m guessing it wont ever happen for you. So, instead of taking 47 practice swings hit the damn ball. Do you really think you are gaining something by delaying the enevitable? Which of course is either (1 a huge slice, (2 and huge hook, (3 you embaress yourself even furthur by not hitting it passed the ladies tee’s. Thank you asshole you now owe me a beer.

The same shit would apply when you are putting. Why in the fuck do you spend 10 mins lining up a 7 foot putt? Everyone in your group knows you will miss it by at least 4 feet. This is then followed by the proverbial swearing and club throwing. Nice work asshole this goes back to my point of playing in the US Open. You must never forget this is your local Muni not the US Open, your biggest concern should be how many beers you are slamming not your handicap.

Golf Guy!

I am actually getting pissed off writing this…………

Last but not least is the guy who questions everything you do on the course or too the course. Fucking Really??? Who made you an expert on golf course work. This guy might top the cake. He is bitching and moaning about anything you do, and claims he knows how to do it better. The only thing that I have to say about this special ed handicapped prick is……. “On my time off from work do I come to your place of Work and bitch and moan about what you are doing right or wrong”? Sadly I dont but I think I might start.

Well my fingers are getting sore, this might be the longest story I have ever typed. Besides I have better things to do than humor the random masses who I will never meet(nor do I want to).

I have to go watch Antiques Roadshow………

Peace, LeCrazy.


9 Responses to Réflexions D’un Fou – Part Un

  1. normanunderwood says:

    Laughing my ass off you stupid fuck!

  2. cyssormetimbers says:

    This. Is. Amazing.

  3. cyssormetimbers says:

    Is “LeCrazy” actually listed in the Iowa Golf Course Superintendents Associtaion?

  4. LE Bartender says:

    You make the family proud!

    p.s. Stop knitting to Audrina I called dibs.

  5. CanAzn says:

    I enjoy the fact that Crazy can’t spell embarrass or past, but yet somehow manages to use proverbial correctly. Will wonders never cease?

  6. UpChuck says:

    how you guys continuously improve is beyond me but wither way keep the good shit rollin… i need something to look forward to each day

  7. CyRuss says:

    That is…I don’t know what the hell that is…other than God awful writing. Great ideas, awful writing. Maybe rethink the non-editing part. Keep it up though, it’s a train-wreck and I can’t take my eyes away from it. Kind of like any MTV programming, including the Hills.

  8. Clipper Cooper says:

    LeCrazy, you sound like an interesting SOB. We should play 18 and make fun of fat chicks some afternoon.

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