“The Decision” Parody

So if you’re like most people, you probably didn’t even know that the ESPY’s took place this past week. Well, they did, but don’t worry because you didn’t really miss anything. A lot of rather meaningless awards were handed out, most of which went to the same teams and programing that ESPN regularly subjects us all to at the point of nauseum. I too was a bit surprised too that Tim Tebow wasn’t given some type of life time achievement award! Aside from the family of the late legendary Aplington-Parkersburg football coach Ed Thomas accepting the Arthur Ashe Courage Award in his honor and UNI’s win over KU in the tournament taking home best upset, most of the show was to be expected.

However there was one little gem that stood out and at least made the award show worth watching. Steve Carrell and Paul Rudd provided us with a parody of Lebron’s “Decision” which was covered to the point of disgust in the week prior on ESPN and seemingly every other news outlet. Enjoy…


Custom NCAA Cover

Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness!


To commemorate the release of NCAA Football 2011, GameStop managers in Tuscaloosa, Alabama marked the occasion with a custom cover they slipped onto their stores’ copies of the game. No, it didn’t feature Nick Satan Saban or anyone from last years National Championship roster, those witty Alabamans let the long awaited game hit the shelves dawning the tear soaked face of the anointed one: Tim Tebow. WRNL attempted to reach Tebow for comment, however were told by his publicist that he was “abroad on a mission from God to circumcise the penises of the unwashed so that they may become closer to the Holy Father”.  Because everybody knows that there is nothing that the almighty hates more than a foreskin! 

The move to use a custom NCAA cover by the Tuscaloosa GameStop has sparked a trend that is spreading nationwide. A cover featuring Roy Helu Jr. coating his hands in KY jelly as well as Niles Paul doing his best impression of Leon Lett going in for a touchdown is set to hit stores in Ames sometime in the next week or so. 

Who would have thought that Alabama would start a nationwide trend that didn’t have to do with macro-making costumes out of bed sheets or animal husbandry? 

Here’s the link to the original Tebow story by SB Nation

Know Your Enemy Part 9: University of Nebraska

Editor’s Note: Norman has seemingly forgot how to count yet again. Kansas preview will run next week. In the meantime, we are enrolling Norman in a “principles of Math” class at the University of Phoenix.

We regret to inform our readers that this will be the first and only time WRNL previews the University of Nebraska.  The Cornhuskers took their ball, went home, and decided to move to the Big 10.

STADIUM: The Huskers take the field at yet another creatively named Memorial Stadium ($10 says some irrate Husker fan leaves a comment telling us what group the stadium is named in honor of), in Lincoln NE.

I can assure you this stadium is not in Norman, OK, Columbia, MO, or Lawrence, KS

Lincoln, of course, is home to the fat girl. Ames isn’t exactly the Grove, but my god if a trip to Lincoln don’t make a guy feel appreciative for what he has.

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Are you ready for some football?

It’s the middle of July, only another month until we’re we are finally saved from the sports middling that is summertime.  No more trying to decide between World Cup, random baseball, or what LeBron is up to.  Tailgating, money lines, heisman watches, cheerleaders, and hawk on gopher sex in bathroom stalls – it’s all just around the corner.

Here’s a little something to set the mood.  While this video was initally aired by ESPN around the new year, we wanted to give credit to ShaggyBevo.com for reviving it for the collective good of the nation.  ISU fans – note the CPR speech after the win at Nebraska at the 2:25 mark.

Hawkeyes’ Binns Refusal Of Free Ride Results In OWI

The Only Suspension Clayborn Worries About Are The Air Shocks On This Sweet Ride

The Des Moines Register reports Iowa Hawkeyes DE Broderick Binns was arrested early this morning for operating a vehicle while intoxicated.  This is a serious blow to the Hawks following the previous arrest of running back Jewel Hampton and the embarrassing performance of Ashton Kutcher in his recent spy movie.

To make matters worse WRNL has confirmed reports that Binns was offered a ride home from Hawks All-Big 10 and sweet natured do-gooder Adrian Clayborn. This website was able to obtain an image of Clayborn in his recently acquired ride.  How could Binns pass that up?

Know Your Enemy Part 8: University of Texas

We’re aware that Texas is liable at any moment to take their ball and go home, if not being publicly fellated by the rest of the conference.  Mr. Dodds, and UT fans/alums everywhere, remember:  we kid because we care.  We still love you tx_chica, it’s just your turn.

STADIUM: The ‘Horns play at Darrel K. Royal Memorial (see, they actually tell you who they’re memorializing) Stadium in Austin,

Hey, at least they slapped a name on it...

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Big XII vs. NBA Free Agency: A Critical Comparison

With the LeBron sweepstatkes NBA Free Agency opening up tomorrow, we felt it was appropriate to look at how our beloved Big XII schools relate to some of the biggest NBA free agents that will be signed at 12:01 AM on July 1st after their obvious first second third fourth contact with an interested team.

Baylor = Rasho Nesterovic. Who? No one loves you, and neither do I.

Colorado = Jermaine O’Neal. You had your day in the sun but unbecoming acts (Colorado and their sex parties, O’Neal and his fists) rendered you irrelevant. Your former conference/team will be happy to get rid of you because of your pitiful results.

Iowa State = Tracy McGrady. Talented in some areas, pitiful in others. You have shown brief flashes of brilliance (2005 ISU football, McGrady circa 2001) but could never get over the hump, and have now slid in to the far reaches of relevancy.

Kansas = Dirk Nowitzki.  You’re white and pretty good at basketball.  You both have your fair share of disappointments, whether it be losing as a #1 seed to Golden State or…. Losing as a #1 seed to UNI.

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