We Did Have Options!

hand written notes just have a personal touch that people always appreciate!

Well, the question has been answered regarding ISU being hung out to dry in conference realignment and the potential changes that had us believing we’d be calling the MAC “home” before long. Where did we stand? A little over a month ago Jaime Pollard slipped the powers that be in the Big East Conference a little note that we can only assume looked similar to that pictured on the left. And the Big East finally gave us an answer, “We think you’re neat!” At least it wasn’t just mom telling us that we were beautiful and that we’d find someone to love us one day. The Big East was interested in ISU as well as KSU, KU, and Missourah. Who’d of thought?

Big East officials stated “We stumbled across ISU’s ad on Craigslist and were immediately interested in looking at them as a candidate for expansion. They had a lot to offer at a fair price and were willing to let a conference slap them around a bit. We like that kind of attitude around here, I mean you try dealing with that bitch Notre Dame all the time”.

It sure is nice to see WRNL getting a little recognition every once in a  while! It’s all in a days work my friends!

Now this will most definitely start debate over whether ISU would have been better off joining the Big East rather than allowing Texas to use us as their breeding mare. But at this point, who really cares. We may be the odd man out in the big XII, but now we have options! Plus, odds are we will be going through this entire expansion deal once again in a few years once the state of Texas inevitably decides to give secession another go. So those of you holding onto Big East aspirations still have something to look forward to.

Finally, those of you; Perrault, Keeler, 90% of Iowa fans, and the rest of those that were salivating over how ISU had no options and was doomed to the MAC, we offer you this…

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Sunday’s Big 12 Conference Meeting

Kansas City, MO – Big 12 Athletic Directors are meeting with Dan Beebe to discuss the viability of the Big 12 after Colorado and Nebraska announced their departures.

DeLoss Dodds, evil genius.

DeLoss Dodds: Well boys, your GodKing Deloss Dodds is gonna tell you, we had a hell of a run with y’all, but we’re getting the hell up outta town. That sumbitch Larry Scott gave Texas a sweeeeeeeet deal. DeLoss gets golden slippers and a lifetime supply of aspercreme! Oh, and Texas gets some extra money too. By the way, where’s that daggum Baylor at?

Dan Beebe: Something about shabbas, I don’t know..

Lew Perkins: Awww crap. This is gonna be a bad year for me. First Mangino, then UNI, then the ticket scalping fiasco. Now I gotta tell my fans that even though we have one of the best sports programs in the nation in men’s basketball, we’re probably going wherever those bottom feeding Cyclones and those Benedict Arnold-esque Missouri assbags are going? I might as well change my name to Kanzaz to be douchey like them.

Jamie Pollard: Man, even Fred Hoiberg can’t save me on this… Good thing I have that sex tape I made with Paul Tagliabue’s wife for blackmail. We going to the Big East yo!

John Currie: Can we come too? We’re really really good at academics!

Pollard: Aren’t you guys Tier 3? Eh, Whatever, why the hell not? I love me some Frank Martin.

Perkins: JP, I know you probably hate me, so if I announce my retirement, can we come too? Please?

Pollard – Only if you get me some courtside tickets for some NCAA tourney games next year.. I know you can scalp me some…

(door flies open)
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Desperate Times?

With all the conference alignment speculation shit hitting the proverbial fan, WRNL has discovered this Craigslist Ad.

At least we haven't started whoring ourselves out completely....yet.

I’ll admit, I’m a little nervous about all the brouhaha. No one likes to see their school passed over like the fat girl with the back brace and bad acne at the 7th grade dance. Let’s just hope once the dust settles, Iowa State is still in a major conference. I mean, our mom still tells us we’re beautiful and that someday, someone will love us for who we are, right?