Following along

Hearing about Andrew Long’s consistent inability to control himself with the bottle lead me to one conclusion: I had to talk to him. With a recent arrest, Long was suspended for a good portion of the following season, with what I can only assume Coach Kevin Jackson had to say “Get off the bottle, or get off my nuts.” I set out with Ames as the destination.
12:27 PM – I arrive in Ames. Knowing his recent penchant for cheap tequila and running from cops, I at first think about leaving toward Iowa City, where it’s most common. As I head away from campus, I spot the elusive Long heading out of the dining halls. Looking calm, cool and collected, I follow him in my fantastic bush camouflage.
As mid afternoon rolls around, I find myself seated in the Memorial Union eating some Panda Express while listening to Long trying to convince anyone that will listen that it’s time to party. I check my watch. 2:53 PM Tuesday. It doesn’t sound like anyone really agrees with him as a vein starts to bulge in his forehead. “So what if it’s fucking finals week? Study later!”
Next thing I know, we’re over at Paddy’s. Long has a pitcher; he’s the only customer at the time. I hear the bell ring as someone enters the bar. I catch a glimpse of Long diving behind the bar just before I see a tough customer enter the room.
“Where the fuck is he?” the man demanded. The barkeep’s eyes give away that he’s too busy pissing his pants to answer, so I interject.