Some Cyclones Can’t Wait Until Next Week

Looks like the Iowa City based Cyclones have had enough with the hype and are taking things into their own hands.

The white truck is obviously driven by a Cyclone fan and the guy on the moped… starting (now injured) Hawkeye center Josh Koeppel (he’s fine folks we aren’t that heartless)

Ouch, get well soon… well, after week two

First Annual WRNL Golf Outing

Look Boobies

  

Wide Right & Natty Lite recently held its first annual golf outing at a central Iowa golf course.  A golf course which will not be named because this group is no longer allowed there because we were,  ” overly intoxicated, you have lack of golf etiquette and a general lack of maturity,” as the club house manager told us as he escorted us to the drunk bus.

 

 

 Overall it was a great experience, many people had to walk with their dong exposed because they could not hit the ball past the ladies tee.  Many fairways were driven on in non 90 degree angle fashion and one green was actually driven upon, drawing the ire of LeCrazy and the grounds crew.  Beers were drank, beer cart girls were hit on and offended with regularity….good times!

  

Walking with a group of 5 is not advised if WRNL is the group behind you

  

We look forward to pissing off all of our bosses again next year by calling in sick,  getting drunk and trying to play some golf.  Leave a comment if you like to partake in some of the fun next time.  

***WRNL will not monetarily help you out if you end up in jail or get divorced because you went to the golf outing, we’re looking at you cjwick***  

Cougil To Join Biggest Loser

At drive thru a 6'9" center from Sioux City

Brennan Cougil announced today that he will be attending  Kirkwood Community College  starting in fall of 2010.  Cougil a 6’9 250 310 forward from Sioux City, IA recently met the qualifications for Kirkwood Community College by failing out of the University of Iowa.  Cougil who had to get in an “A” in a 3 week summer art class failed to stay inside the lines of his coloring book and received a “B” (we should note he did receive a gold star)  

Cougil now will join his Kirkwood peers by taking the introductory courses: Fast Foods 101 and Meat Packing 101, which Cougil should excel at because dude did live in Iowa City and he knows the Taco Bell menu by memory.

WRNL: Know Your Cyclones

With football season upon us, we here at WRNL decided to take a closer, objective, look at the Iowa State football roster.  We’ll be breaking down the roster in true WRNL fashion.  First up: Michael Romey.

Michael Romey, aka "Mr. Rye"

Michael Romey was a highly recruited player out of high school (Carroll-Kuemper Catholic) and raised in nearby Templeton, IA.  Romey is listed as a punter but don’t let the roster fool you, these Carroll County folks are sneaky.  Let’s not forget their most infamous resident Lois Feldman: who went bottoms up in the Metrodome Bathroom .  Romey, a redshirt Junior  majoring in Mechanical Engineering, is also a 4th generation masher of the finest whiskey in the Midwest: Templeton Rye.   A little background for you on Templeton Rye as told to WRNL by Uncle Clifford Romey III: apparently the Templeton Rye corporation name and trademark were STOLEN according to Clifford (read: went inactive) and re-trademarked by another Iowa family.  He  states that there is still a bitter family feud going on to this day for the stealing — or what Clifford Romey III called “a complete dick move” (and legal) — for claiming the rights to Templeton Rye.  (***Editor’s note: this guy was wasted so he probably wasn’t Uncle Romey III; he also claimed to be Hayden Fry’s gay lover, but we felt we should double-check so we googled it. Turns out it was on the internet, so it must be true on both accounts. Don’t worry, Mike, everyone has a gay uncle***)

Negotiations for Texas to PAC-10

WRNL recently tapped into a convo by DeLoss Dodds,  AD of Texas and Larry Scott, Pac-10 Commisioner:

Who's got two green thumbs and loves to smoke weed? This Guy

LS: So DeLoss do you think can get the BIG XII South to make the jump to the new PAC-10?

DD: Sure, no problem. They will do whatever we say…

LS: Great…

DD:…..hold on there son, I’ve got a couple minor details that we need to clear up first.

LS: Like?

DD: Like what’s the real story on this medical marijuana in California?

LS: Excuse me?

DD: Marijuana, green, the sticky icky as our ball players call it….it’s pretty dry here in Texas and my supplier from Colorado is gone ’til November, if you catch my drift.

LS: So Baylor instead of Colorado? I’m not sure I’m following…

DD: Fuck Baylor… bunch uptight Jesus freaks. JC loved to smoke the herb.

LS: I’m sorry DeLoss, can you clarify what exactly you want?

DD: Haight Ashbury, I want a nice condo in the middle of Haight Ashbury and I want some of the finest Kush you can get your hands on.

For the cataracts

LS: Weed and a Condo?

DD: Damn right, didn’t you read my bio…I love to cultivate lush greens

LS: Thats it…for this you’ll bring Texas, A&M, OU, OSU , TT and Colorado…correct?

DD: Have you ever slept in a Redwood?

……….dial tone

Michaels Blames ‘Busty Cops 3’ For Hemorrhage

“The truth: “I was going back and forth from ‘SportsCenter’ to ‘Busty Cops 3,'” the Poison frontman and Celebrity Apprentice finalist admits. “Maybe that’s what did it!” he says about the intensity of the “Skin-e-max” flick”

Who doesn’t knit between SportsCenter commercials?  MELKY CABRERAAAA!!! OH GOD, OH GOD!